0 My dearest brother....

Tears flowing. Heart cracking.

I am so hurt today.

Why this thing happen again?

Unbelievable! Unacceptable!

I try to accept, i try and i try!

But i just can't! I try to stop crying!

But i just can't! Why happen such thing?

One is my brother, one is my ....

Brother, you are always my dearest brother.

First, i really blame you, i hate you!

Why you want to separate with her? Why?

Actually, mum has sixth sense knowing that something happen between both of you.

And mum ask me whether i got chatting with your gf.

So, today i ask your gf what happen?

She says both of you have separated 3 months ago!

Why? Why you never tell us?

You have to face it one day too!

I blame you because you don't take good care of her, you hurt her!

I hate guy doing such thing! No responsibility.

Ya. Suddenly i hate you so much! Hate!

Where is my good er ge? Why do such things!

Brother, when i message you and know the truth, i cry again.

I know what you are thinking about.

I hate myself for blaming you.

I never think about you.

You are the best among all the siblings.

You have a strong heart to win and never want to lose others.

In house, you are the one get full As in UPSR, PMR, SPM.

And now you get the 1st honor in your engineering.

Everybody proud of you. You want to prove that you are an useful people.

Dad and mum always hope you can get the best achievement.

Ya. You did it successfully.

Now you earn a lot but you never happy.

Why you got things you never want to express?

I am your sister that can help you to solve some problems.

You are the best in the house. But i am the worst in the house.

Then my feeling? I got my own stress too.

I try to believe that even my academic is not good as you or sis or bro, I can earn a lot of money too.

Don't force yourself to make everything perfect.

You must think of yourself before you think of others.

Because of the responsibility, Because of the family, Because of her father's death

you try to recover with your gf and try to get back the feelings.

But now you are not happy at all, so you just let her go.

You tell me you scare to come back home because you disappointed the family.

This is the first time i see you are so worried.

I tell you, "You must return home, family wont leave his son alone".

Just now i call mum and she tells me that you cry nonstop.

I know your pain, your sorrow.

Brother, you make me cry and your gf did too.

I appreciate the relationship between us and i don't want to miss it.

But now everything spoiled and can't get back anymore.

If recall back the memories, i will cry again.

So many laughter with her, So many memories!

I can't forget it at all. I treat her as my sis.

I hurt so much today. And mum too.

She can't sleep tonight but what can i do?

Dad too. He is sick but i can't do nothing too.

I want to go back! Bro, i want to meet you!

You are my dearest brother ever after.

Don't fall down first k? We give you support.

Now you are lonely there and you always keep your things alone, nobody care for you.

You go overseas nonstop but please care for yourself k?

I don't want something happen in the house!

Mum and dad are old enough! If you fall down, dad n mum too.

I can't save so many people in one time.

Please! This useless sister hope you can think for the family k?

I don't want anything anymore. I don't want you to sponsor me this and that.

I just want my brother back. I don't want to lose you.

So pain today. I want you happy with us again.

Brother, i know you want perfect but you can't do everything you want.

You already make us proud. Dun force yourself again. Please!

You have succeed in your career! If you want to earn more, no need!

I am going to earn money soon. Just wait for me!

Wait me back. I give you my my-vi car to drive.

I bring you to eat supper, i bring you to anywhere you want to go.

You tell me before, when i am graduated, you will bring me to Singapore.

So, don't fall down. I won't talk about your relationship anymore.

I just hope everything will be ok.

Tissue is not enough for me anymore. Brother, i love you and i miss you!

0 New design..

Oops! Why my background is in pink?

Unbelievable! Actually i hate pink!

I really hate pink. But now i still can accept a little bit.

Because the header of the blog is quite blank, light in colour.

So i try to use blue in d background but it is not suitable.

So i use pink.

i always want a fresh look for the blog.

So i change my background twice a year.

I easily hate something and i like new things.

So i always waste money on buying this and that.

I like original things like Nike.

I got sport shoes for three hundred something. I got bag. I got shorts! I got bottle!

Oops! i have to stop it!

Anybody know why i hate pink?

Because it looks so girlish, and so many girls like it.

And i always want to be special and i like peace.

So i prefer blue in colour. It gives me energy sometimes.

I love blue if compares to others.

These few days i write my blog in English.

Because i like English and i hate Chinese actually.

When i am Form 4, i write an essay and that essay gets high mark.

The teacher don't believe at all and ask me whether i copy from where or not.

From that day on, i really hate people who look down at me.

I hate Chinese and she makes me hate Chinese more.

I like to watch Western Movie if compare to Taiwan Movie or Hong Kong Movie.

I always learn English from there. And i enjoy watching it.

Even the western movie are much more rude words than others.

Such as "Fuck", "Suck", "Screw up". Or many sex scenes.

This is the western style, western cultures.

Sex is not a dirty thing actually.

Nowadays, many students are curious about this things.

Some boys maybe want to try what is that because they feels strange enough.

So, if newspapers write "Students get molested or raped in younger age", i don't feel strange at all.

Parents need to play the main role to give the right concept to their children.

They need to know what is sex and protect themselves.

So, parents can't blame them if parents never tell them about sex.

Oops, i am out of topic!

I like my blog in a simple way.

I like to find out what decorations are better for my blog.

I like to explore new things and i like to learn something new.

Do you ever run out from house? I did

Do you ever do direct sales and introduce the products to strangers? I did

Do you ever give speech in front of your mum and show love in front of hundred people? I did

Do you ever angry your headmistress in front of her? I did.

I do so much crazy things! i am totally too bad! How come i can be a teacher?

I also can't believe at all!

My dad hopes i can be a teacher, and now i fulfill his dream!

And why my blog got so many gadgets?

I think that gadgets are quite cute!

It gives me joy and it makes the background more colourful.

Do you think so? Hehe..

Don't want to introduce my new design anymore.

I am gonna study now! Miracle happens!

Wow! If you like my blog, just come here and we make friends!

Hehe. Good luck to everybody!

0 ^Friendship^

Do you trust friendship?

Do you know what is friendship?

I do. I always treasure it!

What is friendship?

Some people won't know the meaning of friendship.

They think friendship is friends are people you think are friends,

but they are enemies with secret identities and disguises who hide their true colours.

They never trust friendship!

From the day i know what is friendship,

i appreciate so much the relationship between friends.

So God give me so much experience in the friendship.

Sometimes, He give me joy. Sometimes, He give me pain.

But this is only the process between friendship.

We can make difference among those friends.

Nobody is perfect!

Yesterday, i tell one of my friends.

I say "i love you". She can't accept.

I know that. Because eastern people are more traditional and not so opened.

"I love you" has many meanings actually.

Love you as family, lover, fiancee or friends.

Sometimes i envy those western people, when they greet each other, they will hug or kiss each other.

It shows a kind of warm or love.

When i am in Penang trip, i meet my old friend!

I do miss her. I think we never meet each other after form 5!

She is my best friend, and totally when we meet each other, we still like before.

We laugh and tease each other. There are a lot of memories between us that will never be forgotten.

But the words from her i remember most is when she notices me, she say "Can i have a hug?"

Wow! Is such a warm hug i never had.

When i in home, i seldom hug my mum, but once i hug her, i feel protected.

And i seldom say i love her, because sometimes the words difficult to express. Is too deep in the heart.

But once i message and tell her, she replies " i love you too".

That's the time i touched and my tears start unable to control.

Even my sis, i want to hug her, and she says "yurks!", ask me to go away.

It shows a kind of love, but for her its unacceptable!

My bro shows his love by buying the things i want! Laptop! He sponsors! Touched!

I have a happy family. My dad, my mum, my two brothers, my sis and even my grandma. They love me! And i love them too.

Too long didn't take picture with them. T_T.

Gonna go back soon and i will remember to take once!

And even friends too. We give them a warm hug, it shows love.

Don't be stingy to give other's love.

A hug is worth than thousand words. Remember that.

Hug is not kind of sex or need to be used when sex.

It is just a simple hug. NOT sensitivity.

I have a lot of friends. Can you imagine?

How i do this? Why i can have it? Just show a simple "LOVE"

Do you hear before? To be depressed is to be lonely; To have a friend is to be happy.

I did it. And you? Still don't want to show love?

Let you see my crazy friends!

But we seldom meet because all of us have to further our studies in different kind of places.

I have a lot of friends and i also have a lot of sis around me!

Love are surrounded me and i feel happy enough!

I treat many people who smaller than me as my sis even i have a stupid sis!

They are the people i love most! I was greedy enough to have them!

My sis is the people who close to me most. We quarrel, we laugh, we fight!

I know her well indeed. She is the most cruel sis in this world.

If people who don't know her, they will think she is good.

If you know her deeply, you sure will kill her and chop her into pieces!

If i am a killer, sure i dare to chop her!

Nowadays, i am closer to this sis.

If u first thinking about her, you will say this people is not easy to close with.

Ya. That's my first thinking!

But now i realize that she is much more crazy than before.

And she is quite good enough because she treats me good even we always quarrel.

Last time, she is negative on her thought and now i know why she think negatively.

The surroundings influence her and maybe she is still young to solve the problem.

Another sis, she is talent in chinese yoyo. But i am not because of that interested her.

The 1st time i see her, is the time got people bully her.

From that time, i start to message her everyday but we are not couples.

We just easy to talk with and the feelings are nice!

Sometimes maybe misunderstanding with each other, but now we settle it.

And i hope i can have chance to love her more.

Sorry for that day i scold you. I just care about you and hope you will know one day.

And another three, i treat them like my sis too.

They are good and easily bullied by me. Haha.

But three of them gather together and try to bully me, sure i will lose!

Sometimes, they will find me. But after chatting, sure i can't get back to the room because they are too talkative!

So, nowadays i just stay in my room! hahahaha!

I try to message them but their phone number are 017!

I cant afford to pay that! So expensive per message.

Another sis, she says i never care for her! I really.......

If you are with her, you will know the feeling.

She talks nonstop and i don't have any freedom!

But she is nice to others and she is too naive!

She always think from others but never think of herself.

Do you see her laugh before? or cry before?

She is the person lack of protection!

And these few days, i always message a girl.

I scare she will think i like her because i find her always! Oops!

I want to treat her as sis(妹妹), but she wants to be sis(姐姐)!

Crazy human i think. She always make me nothing to talk with.

She is too brilliant. She can catch every words you say and make you shut up!

And she is the one always no reply my message! No manner at all!

Hahaha. I think she won't mind what i say. Because this is the truth!

Never take picture with her so no picture. But hope got chance to take with her!

If you don't mind, be my sis! I have so many sis to love!

I have a sis who love me too!

She gives me an original cd of Jess Lee which import from Taiwan!

And she always brings me here and there! I love her! Really!

The ring on my finger is the present from her! I miss you, Lanice!

Thanks everybody! Thanks sis!

The best gift i ever had!

I don't have lover but i have so many friends around me.

I don't scare i will be alone.

I just know they are the most precious thing i never had!

Thank you everyone who appear in my life and give me the best memories!

Sorry if i don't write about you because i have too many friends need to appreciate it!

The world is so complicated but all of you make my life wonderful!

Friends, when you face the problems or obstacles,

Sadness, grief or even doubt,

When you mess up all the things that you planned on,

just turn around and look behind you.

From the place you stand,

Look for me through the shadows,

i will lend you my hand.

I will give you my shoulders,

I will right beside you

Though it will be a thousand years!

Friendship is the golden thread that ties all hearts together.

Don't walk on front of me, i may not follow~

Dont walk behind me i may not lead~

Just walk beside me and be my friend."

0 把最好的留给家人！

累了。困了。想歇一歇。

给我一点空气呼吸一下。

请不要逼我逼得太紧

毕竟我也是人。

我只想给自己权力去选择

我知道之前我做了不应该做的事,

我知道我犯了不该犯的事

但如果没这么做，你们同样推我去死

我只能为自己找个后路。

请容许我绝点，我真的看开这世界

你对人家好，人家只会爬到你头上

我真的有时帮累了，帮了还惹上不少蚂蚁

我要扫掉那些蚂蚁还真难。

我知道我讲话一向来很直，

很多人接受不了这一套

我自己也接受不了

如果要我改，我宁愿不说话，

因为本性难改，改也是一样。

请不要考验我的忍耐度

我发疯时什么都做得出

我真的不想顾虑那么多

因为换来的只有自己的委屈

不要觉得我没脾气，我不会怎样

就考验我的极限。我只是不想把痛苦建立在别人身上！

以后你们的事我不再插手

你们要怪我也好，利用我也好。

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

妈，我真的好想回家。

我真的好累。不知不觉也快半年了。

要等也要等到十一月二十五才能回家。

想想为什么间隔我不回。

因为你们要付我们两姐妹的费用。

加上老爸也退休了，妹妹也好想回因为她放假两个星期

所以就给她回了。这样也好，妹妹可以回去看你们

以前在家，要什么有什么，

现在什么都得靠自己，累了也没有依靠。

事情无法解决了，还是要想办法解决

原来长大是那么辛苦的。

谁想长大？谁想面對这一切？我觉得没有！

当我每天听到别人埋怨的时候，我心想没人要这样的生活

别人看得到我活得开心，我的确很开心

因为我的心态是过了算了，没必要计较

但有时心很痛，要发泄也没地方发泄。

有时妹妹总会突然发脾气，然后乱乱骂我

其实我自己也有不开心的事。

我告诉妹妹你很累是吗? 你把脾气发泄在我身上我也是很累的

我哭了。因为我真的好心痛。我不喜欢莫名奇妙给人家骂

我妹说“原谅我，我知道我不好”。她说她在这里好压力

难到你们都有，我没有吗？

我只是看开了,我只是觉得开心活着，那不是很好吗？

再多的难题是上天给的考验，不是吗？

妈，你知道吗？那天的手球比赛，我告诉你我脸被打到

我知道你很担心，一直问我有事吗。

对。看了医生，医生说脑震荡，会维持三四天

你骂我，叫我以后不要打这样的球。

我只能说我太幸运被球打中。

现在我不敢告诉你，我还再痛。我觉得已经是内伤了。

从喉咙伤到脑袋，真的是辛苦死了！

我不知如何开口告诉你。

我每次不懂花了你们多少钱。

保险也是我最快买，难怪婆婆说，以后我要还比较多。

的确，以后我一定要孝顺你们。

之前的不孝，我很后悔。让你们受多了委屈。

只怪我不争气，只怪我耳根软。还好我会清醒！

婆婆老了，不知还能陪我们多久

真的好想回去看看她。

大学读了好久，没什么时间陪你们

真的是受尽了不少委屈。

现在只能让你们不担心。这已足够了。

也谢谢你们让我有个幸福的家庭。

我不缺爱，不缺钱，什么都不缺。我缺的只是时间。

你们老了，我也长大了，要学会独立了。

上天给我机会活着，我就该做有意义的事。

这才是人生。现在我只知道做好事，存好心。

家人都做善事，我也要。

活了那么多年了，我该想想自己未来的路了。

我想当游泳教练，行的通吗？

希望能，希望有这个机会！

这样我就会赚更多钱，带你们去玩。

你们要好好照顾自己，这样我才能带你们去更多地方。

好久没一家人出去玩了自从去中国香港后。

妈，我知道你等不及了。要我赶快出來赚钱。我会的！

如果能，我会继承你的保险。

爱家人多点吧！父母等不及我们出來孝顺他们了。

0 是你，让我成长了！

曾经就是曾经，无法改写这段回忆
与你的确有不少的回忆，
我不断的挽回，但我知道这可能已经于事无补
真的有时心好痛，无法接受这事实
只怪曾经的天真贪玩，想接触更多人而忽略了你！

对你，的确有不少的抱歉，
我总是把你丢下，我知道你怕一个人
但因为贪玩而忽略了你。
我知道我想接触你，但一时的冲动，不顾你死活，
那时你应该很难熬吧！

现在的局面也许是我的报应
我应该选择接受，不是逃避吧！
面對你时，坦白说，我有点内疚
的确我想挽回曾经的那段感情
那时真的很幸福，很开心

我们有福同享，有难同当
我们总是形影不离，很让大家羡慕的一对
但我终于领悟到了，越好的朋友，越受伤害
原来我也会面對这样的事情
真的是世事难料

我也不能那么自私，把你抢过来
你有自己选择的机会
你有自己想要的生活
也许是我的话改变了你吧！
自从与你不好后，我就开始反省自己所做的一切

你每一年的生日，我都很期待着
一直想给你最快乐的生日，
但一直做不到。我深信在这么长的日子里，我一定能做到。
我相信我答应你的事，到现在无法忘怀，我一定会做到
要选一个真心的不容易，但要成为真心的却很难

有时因为疏忽，冲动，不珍惜，而失去重要宝贵的东西
我知道你接触外面世界的人只是想让自己不寂寞
也是我自己说的，要认识多一点朋友
对不起，是我让你陷入这样的一个无法自拔的黑暗世界里
也许这个可悲的惨剧让我更想努力的挽回，珍惜你

感情的事伤了就很难愈合了
但我深信还有奇迹，我会一直付出，挽回自己做错的选择
我知道我在你最低潮的时候留下你一个人
之前的感情的确是没人能拥有的。
我挽回一个了，我相信我也能挽回你。

你也许知道我在说你，我也希望你看到
因为我对你是真心的，我对你只能说抱歉
你对我大声喊骂，我无所谓，我知道这也许是你对我的尊重
你对我不客气，我无所谓，我知道这是我欠你的
我只想挽回那一段真诚的友情

上天太残忍了，在我不经意的时候夺走了这段感情
上天也再次给了我机会，再靠近你，让我挽回
真的我不知该喜还是悲
我真的很想放下过去那两年，跟你重新来过
当我一辈子的好朋友。

这答案会是问号还是句号？
你能帮我解答吗？？
我们能重新来过吗？
我不是需要你，也不是利用你
我只是想珍惜，因为我一直把你当作好朋友。
你还当我是好朋友吗？？？



这是你edit的照片吧！我相信那句话！
我多么希望回到之前，重新疼你，也不让你受伤害
友情不再了，是多么让人心痛的事
现在回来了，我得好好珍惜
谁没犯错过，知错能改！
陈小熊，谢谢你给我那么好的一段回忆，还会有以后吗？
我等了好久的答案还是没有结果，但我不放弃，努力挽回这段情！

是你，让我成长了不少
是你，让我知道失去的痛苦
是你， 让我知道友情的可贵
是你，让我知道什么是真心朋友！
是你，让我知道我做的是错的！
谢谢你！